My first trip to India was one of unknown excitement sad joy anxious afraid brave...so many mix emotions. Here I was on a plane...alone the first time in my life...going to a place I have only heard of and meeting people I don't really know.....Scary!!!!!!
My heart was beating so fast when I boarded that plane...I kept talking to God silently. Oh my, many bad things came into my mind.What if the plane crash.What if it falls in to the ocean....I try to breath and be normal.Oh when it took flight my heart almost when to stand still....Goddddddddddd.....Phew it was over soon though..Wow never knew it can be so quiet in the air...Lol.
I was slowly getting relaxed. Wow 15 hours seems like forever...and that is only to Dubai. From there I will have to fly another 3 H 30 hours...I prayed much...Well time was moving fast and slow (not really sure)...food was good and the entertainment on your screen...I loved it. Somehow a fire was burning inside and as much as I wanted to suppress it with taking walks, listening music, praying....it didn't seem to cease. The fire called anxiety have fully HIT me now.....two hours before getting to Dubai..the worse anxiety attack known...Boom..I couldn't breath..I had to get out of there...i was calling the hostess,I need some air....my heart rate is now about 130 pulse per minute my hands and feet feels frozen..I cant speak properly My head is spinning...I am gonna loose consciousness ..I feel like I am gonna have a heart attack...oh God how come You brought me here to die...what is this? I prayed. They made me to sit in the hostess cabin (everyone now looking at me funny) with them.They offered me cool drink , coffee snacks, books to read...I was not calming down at all...I wanted to get away from all these people which I don't know ...trapped with strangers who doesn't understand what I am feeling...Lord I am dying. Why did You do this? Why didn't I stay home with my family and friends?Why didn't I listen to the doctor, who told me not to go to India? Why? Why? Why?!!!!!! Did I mistake Satan's voice and prophesy for God's voice? I now rush into the small toilet ....I sit there..I cry to God...I say don't let me die...please give me another chance...What did I do wrong this time? Why are you punishing me like this...God I need You please. Calm me please...I washed my face.
Somehow I am feeling a little bit better. My breathing gets normal. I go back to the hostess cabin. I sit there for a while...now I am starting to feel very cold...my teeth clapping on each other...They bring a blanket as I continue to pray. I am slowly getting my breathing back and I am not dizzy anymore and my heart rate is slowing down. As I am sitting there covered under blanket, I started to softly praising God...more and more and more...They keep on checking if I am OK. By now I am completely relaxed ...praise God! I am going back to my seat. I came to know once again its the Work of the enemy! He told me so many lies and I believed it...How dare I not trust God!! When we don't trust God we will suffer....Now there is about 30 minutes left before I get to Dubai. ..and I am feeling better and relaxed. Thank God!...I made it. God helped me....but already I am thinking negative about my flight from Dubai to India....I rebuked that enemy just there in the plane ..on the way to Dubai...he never bothered me again.
I spent almost 8 hours on Dubai airport that day...Alone... don't speak the language...dont know where I am heading...but God was with me He knew... He send people to help me and direct me in all the things. I am able to connect with Pastor Raj and the other Pastor by phone from a phone booth, cause now my phone network was disconnected. I ask both of them for more prayer....All went smooth when I boarded the next flight from Dubai to India...I landed on Hyderabad airport..everything is fine...my next challenge. ..what if the pastor that I have to meet doesn't come or what if he is not really a Pastor? Well, God I am here...and I trust You Will protect me...and provide me the wisdom and the peace that I need....I feel another panic coming up (Lol...I rebuke you Satan) ...I finally met the Pastor (whom was standing with my name board in his hands..hahha...I only see that on TV). He is also not what I imagine he would be like but he look like the man on the picture.... Hahha..God is good!
I feel a little bit uncomfortable and I think he as well. Somehow we get some coffee and he says now we will have to take a bus and travel for 18 hours. I can't manage to drink my coffee. I have a lump in my throat. When we came out from the air port a heat wave hit me like I have never experienced ...phew...its so hot here...we took a taxi into the city where we will catch a bus...oh Lord, its so hot and the air is not nice smelling at all...and there is so much darkness from where we have to catch the bus.Why, so many people are in the streets.What is happening here and its dark also...I dont know A from Z...what if this man rob me and kill me? Enemy kept on talking. Finally we are in the bus now and on our way...I feel a little bit comfort now...since there are many people in the bus. The bus is not as bad as other vehicles I have seen on the streets.We began our 18 hours journey. At first I couldn't get any sleep, was looking through the window most of the time.The little glimpses that I get from looking through the window seems like a horror movie. People everywhere. Dirty streets. Air pollution and so much noise from the traffic. People lying sleeping or dead in dark corners...I dont know for sure. Also dont want to ask to many questions yet. In the deep night I fell asleep. Now, each one received a blanket.Wow, I didn't think this blanket was washed for ages...what if there is creepy crawlers in that can bite me..anyway....its getting cool now in the bus...and thank God it is an Ac bus.....so am enduring and falling asleep through it all...Praying and sleeping....my Mission has begun!We have reached our destination..and I was gladly welcomed by the pastors family and other believers....
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